Answers, Choices, Secrets, and Stories
by Stranger of the Night
Summary: How far can you look in a cat's eyes? Many cats have their own answers, choices, secrets, and stories. Learn about Leafpool's, Squirrelflight's, Mistystar's, Tawnypelt's stories and many more!
1. Leafpool's Answer: Sorry

_My name is Leafpool. Greetings rogue. I'm collecting coltsfoot here by the river. I also have a sinking suspicion you didn't travel all the way to the lake to simply hear me go on about such medicine things. But what else is there about me? Ah, you've heard about my kits, right? Don't give me the guilty look. Did you think it would be so hard for me to figure out your motives? Don't worry about it, though. I'm used to the stares and the questions. I'm used to being singled out for the black cat I have grown to love. Everyone would often wonder why I love him, but like everyone, you love their own self, and perhaps he's never warmed up to anyone else._

_I will continue and go on with the story? Sorry, I don't think so. You are nothing more than a passing rogue. Why do you think I would answer your questions truthfully when I won't even do the same for my Clan mates? Well of course, I would share everything with Squirrelflight. She's my loyal sister, for StarClan's sake! Now run along please, I have to go._

…_You're still here? I have coltsfoot now, so I have to leave. But I can't just leave you here. You're not going to leave, right? You are quite headstrong. You remind me of… never mind. It's nothing special. I'll speak with you, rogue. Come; walk with me to the lake. If you want to the truth, the untold truth, my own answer, there are things I wouldn't want anyone to hear my honest answer._

_Have you ever heard of the three? Two of them are my kits. I would die for them, honestly. But don't worry. I do not regret a single thing I've done in my life. Yes, their father is not in ThunderClan. He was WindClan, Crowfeather. I miss him, his voice, his black fur, and his amber eyes. But I must follow the warrior code. He would want me to, anyway. I would never stop loving him, no matter if he stops loving me. Even when he told me at the Gathering he never cared for my kits or me, I still had a part of me who loved him no matter what the stakes were._

_My kits are Hollyleaf, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze. I could me no prouder of them. Though Jayfeather was blind, he became a medicine cat. Lionblaze was such an outstanding fighter. Hollyleaf died for Ivypool, who is also my kin. No, I do not hate Ivypool. I am very proud of her. For coming back to ThunderClan and finding her destiny to save her Clanmates and die for a Clanmate. She died a warrior's death, and I can't find any reason why I would not like her. Jayfeather and Lionblaze are two of the four that are destined to save the Clans. And they did, with their special powers. I wonder if Crowfeather ever knew. But he had told me he didn't regret it, being with me. _

_Did you say that I am no longer happy? You are quite perceptive. Or perhaps it is the obvious. Truly, I am grieving for Crowfeather, but I still have my Clan. They've learned to forgive me, and though I wish I was still medicine cat. I loved the scent of herbs, the feeling of being respected, and watching myself heal other cats, without feeling the pang of guilt as I nurse my patients, knowing Jayfeather should be the one helping them. Can you please quit acting so shocked? It is true my love was been forbidden by the warrior code. And I lose the cat I love. _

_Let me explain. I'm sure you'll understand better without your mind swirling about that I betrayed the warrior code. I'd like to talk to someone who can think about this. No one understands what I feel. They just worry if I'm betraying them again. They were beginning to finally trust me again until it was revealed that Jayfeather, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze were my kits. Whatever faith they had regained in me when I worked hard after I separated with Crowfeather was diminished that night of the full moon. Once again, I had to start from the beginning. I had to find some way,__any__way, to get that trust back. It was all I had left. But everyone already hated me. And then the thing that torn me into two pieces was when Crowfeather told in front of every cat that he no longer loved me. I felt pain etched in my eyes, but I was steady. I just merely dipped my head. I understood, but that didn't mean I would never stop loving him._

_The worst thing that happened was that Hollyleaf tried to kill me. I had to leave with the secret of her murder of Ashfur, hoping she would forgive me if I didn't tell. After all, it wasn't my story to tell. Her green eyes gleaming with anger, when all I hoped was that one day, all my kits would forgive me. That was all I asked. I wanted them to forgive me, and I could do all the loving. I never stopped loving them. And never would I stop. They were everything to me. And the painstaking sadness when Hollyleaf dove into the tunnels, chasing after a squirrel, and never to be seen, on that night of the Gathering. It was my fault that she ignored my Clanmates for so long. She was just humiliated and embarrassed. But I was happy when she came back, and she knew what was right and wrong. She had forgiven me, before she died, and I knew she would watch me among the stars._

_I wonder what Crowfeather feels about me. True, he has his mate Nightcloud and his son Breezepelt, but I believe he wouldn't like Breezepelt. Breezepelt lost his reputation in front of Crowfeather when he tried to kill Lionblaze. I hope it wasn't me that made him hate Breezepelt. I'll always not want Breezepelt to suffer, because it was me that let him into the Dark Forest. It was all because of me. Yes, and Nightcloud. Though Crowfeather might have never loved her, he would've found a good mate in WindClan if it wasn't love for me. I know I suffer, but everyone suffers ten or a hundred times more than me with each action I take. _

_I'm so sorry for everyone. I've done nothing but betray each one…even Crowfeather. If I wasn't so stupid and accept his offer to be with me as a loner, none of this would've happened. There is no one to blame but myself. But no matter what, I don't regret it. I can live this life, and change it. I don't regret birthing to my kits, or being with Crowfeather…and neither does Crowfeather. He doesn't regret anything…and I'm happy about that. _

…_Oh sorry, I was so lost in my thoughts I forgot you were still there, rogue. What's that? You understand me? Thank you. I've never got to tell anyone about my honest answer, because no one would even care to listen, nor would they listen, because the warrior code is everything to them. I'm not saying it is not everything to me, but once in a while, I would like to tell about my troubles to someone who doesn't worry about the code every single heartbeat. I've never been able to tell my answer. My real, own answer to Crowfeather, to anyone. _


	2. Squirrelflight's Choice: No Regrets

_Oh come on. Kittypets now? Leafpool had just complained of meeting rogues. Alright, kittypet, what do you want? So you want to know about me. Greetings, I'm Squirrelflight, Leafpool's sister. I'm deputy of ThunderClan. That is all I'm going to say about myself. You're only a kittypet, so why should I trust you? Alright, stubborn one. I'll talk to you and then you leave. _

_So…where was I? Oh, okay. But before reaching that deputyship, there are so many choices to choose, isn't there? There were two choices for me that led me here. Two paths: left or right, or in this case, right, or wrong. Actually, there is no right or wrong, because I would've hurt either cat, and for the one I chose to hurt, I chose to hurt my mate. I had to. My sister depended on me. She wouldn't have told me her secret if she knew all I would do was to betray it and to use it. I chose her. _

_Kittypets are real mouse-brains, aren't they? Yes, I'm insulting you. I'm trying to guard the camp at night while you disturb me. I rather curl up in a mossy nest. You kittypets are so lucky. Your life is already laid out in front of you the moment you're born. You decide how you are going to live, think about when your Twolegs will come home, and all those mouse-brained stuff. But if you want to live like a warrior, you'll need to make some choices, and some choices make big problems. Say, what do you do when you're stuck with your mate and your best friend? See, you don't know. So how am I supposed to know either? Yeah, say all you want you're a house cat and I'm a warrior, but we're still cats, right?_

_No regrets on my choice. Leafpool was my sister and she needed help. I knew she was betraying the medicine cat code, but there was nothing she could do about it except for birthing to Crowfeather's kits. I know, you've heard about Bramblestar? Yes, he's became a leader, that Brambleclaw. I'll start from the beginning, and you better listen if you want to know my real choice._

_My sister, Leafpool, left with Crowfeather. You know, how much it pained me? I was so worried, and it was partly because of me. Because she didn't want me to help her, and we got into an argument. But I knew she had no regrets on her choice. She loved Crowfeather, right? But then she had to separate. Perhaps she told you about it. But she was carrying Crowfeather's kits. I know you kittypets are just stupid mouse-brains. Do you think she could just bring her kits to Twolegs? That's a big NO-NO. Yeah, I see you're hurt about the insult, but Leafpool is just as much hurt as you, maybe more._

_And she asked me to raise them like it was mine. I knew automatically that I had to betray Bramblestar. Leafpool was my sister, and I would do anything she asked me to, and I hope Leafpool would do the same for me. But I've never felt so much hurt before. When Bramblestar abandoned me, glared at me, and became so cold with me…I've never really felt it before. True, I've used to quarrel with him, but now, it seemed like everyone's hurt was because of me. I betrayed them. Of course even Leafpool. I had spilled the secret, and Hollyleaf had told in the Gathering. But it doesn't mean I don't love her. I still do, because though I pretended to be their mother, it felt like they were: Bramblestar's and mine._

_No, I'll never regret it. Because maybe if I've never had that experience, I wouldn't become deputy. And the best thing was that he had forgiven me. I've learned a lot, and I won't fall for any naïve mistake anymore. I won't be stupid, though choosing Leafpool over Bramblestar was my choice. And I never will ever regret it. Though I had suffered through it, I think it was my destiny to lie for my sister and to become the deputy this way._

_I miss Bramblestar. I miss him the way we used to be. Playful, affectionate, and nice. But now, he forgave me, but I could feel the big difference. Like treating me with respect, and not being so playful all the time. I know, I'm deputy, that's why. But why couldn't we have fun for once? It's not like it is the worst thing in the world, though it's the worst thing I've ever done. To Leafpool too. If only Ashfur didn't love me that much…he wouldn't force me to spill it. It was a desperate hope to save my sister's kits._

_I know Leafpool blames everything because of her. But it is not only her. It's also me. But hopefully I can learn to be a better cat, to learn from mistakes, and know the differences between right or wrong. However, sometimes, you have choices so you can walk the path you think is right and that can lead to your fate. Wait, why am I saying that to a kittypet? I don't think you know, but StarClan will walk with you no matter where you are. And I guess what I'm destined to do is to help my sister, and seek forgiveness. _

_But to tell the truth, I often wonder what will happen if I changed my choice and I ignored Leafpool's kits. I wonder if she would kill them…or say she found them wandering. No, I don't say I regret it. I just hope Bramblestar will warm up to me again, and everyone will fully forgive Leafpool, even Lionblaze and Jayfeather. Hollyleaf may walk among the stars, but I hope she'll be watching me…and know that no matter what happens, I still love her. Because she was my "kit". And I cared for her. I really did. I would have loved to have them as a litter. And to think that everyone would forgive me. _

_I just hoped things would go another way…that Hollyleaf wouldn't have to run away after she caused the pain for Leafpool and me, and I think Crowfeather did too. I want everyone to be in peace…though that would hardly ever come true. But being a warrior means no fairytales and happily ever endings are true. And you have to live with it. I did, though I think that StarClan wanted me to take care of them, and for Leafpool to be not a medicine cat again. I really wonder what path I walk and what choices I need to go through._

_Hopefully, I can choose the right ones and that my "kits" will forgive me one day…for letting them live in such lies… It was only for the right thing to do at the time... But kittypets like you won't understand about it. I've given up everything, but maybe it is for the best. Please to talk to you, kittypet. Now I'll wake up Dovewing so she can guard. I'll walk you to the border…to the lake. You can go to RiverClan, and maybe Mistystar will tell you one of her secrets._


	3. Mistystar's Secret: HalfClan

_Run, you stupid frog brain! Great StarClan, be careful! There are dogs here, and you won't like being chased by another! Ah, you're a kittypet. Don't glare at me. I risked my pelt for a kittypet! Why do you stray so far from the pelt-dens? I know there are on the tree-bridge, but it is almost leaf-fall. What are you doing in the territory of RiverClan's? I understand, you might not know the territories, but I suggest you go back to ThunderClan, who welcomes any cat who wants to join the Clan. That Clan is just stuffed with kittypets and rogues and mewling horse-place cats that don't even fight._

_Don't worry I won't eat you. Warriors of the Clans are just rumored to line their nests with kittypet bones. We actually don't nor do we care to. So Squirrelflight told you to come to RiverClan? But RiverClan doesn't welcome stray cats, sorry. You want to know about me? You seek my secrets? Why should I tell you? I'm leader of RiverClan, Mistystar. No offense, but it is a great shock for a fat kittypet who search for comfort by Twolegs to be asking a RiverClan leader to spill her secrets._

_I am―You know what half-Clan means? It is a big insult to others, but for me, I don't mind because my parents were noble and loyal. I now believe that is all that is important to a warrior. My mother was Bluestar, former leader of ThunderClan, and she died a warrior's death, giving up her life for Firestar. My father was Oakheart, former deputy of RiverClan, and he died sadly from a rock fall while battling with Redtail, ThunderClan's former deputy. I still grieve for both, so I'm going to be my best as RiverClan's new leader._

_You know me? That's nice to hear. But I let my Clan guide me. For a leader, you need to listen to your Clanmates. Have you met my deputy Reedwhisker? I think―Oh, so you want to hear about my secrets and not about my Clan? Very well, kittypet, I understand. Everyone has unique secrets that they mean to keep. I'll explain everything. Just let's go back to the RiverClan camp. Yes, it's that moist. I'm used to it. Okay, let me begin the story._

_Sit down, kittypet. You're probably uncomfortable because you're used to your soft dens, but that's where we live. What will you like to know? Hm, you want to learn about half-Clan cats? I think everyone has different opinions, but I believe you should never judge anyone by their heritage. I'm half-Clan, but I've been loyal to RiverClan my entire life. What I think about half-Clan? First, I hated everything about half-Clan. That's why I hated my mother. How could she be my mother? And if I had lived in ThunderClan, she actually dared to abandon me? Before, I was like everyone else. I despised half-Clan because of the divided loyalties. But I could bear it with Stonefur. But then he died because he was half-Clan. He made me hate being half-Clan even more. _

_Don't worry, I've forgiven Bluestar. Anyway, I need to tell you. It was disgusting, stupid, and inappropriate. I felt insulted. Great StarClan, even my Clanmates didn't trust me. So I had to work harder. And when Firestar won against BloodClan, Leopardstar had accepted me. And I finally got trusted until Hawkfrost came. Blackclaw trusted him, and many cats liked him and they challenged my deputyship. It's not like I didn't agree on him. They started trusting Hawkfrost, and then it made me wonder if it was my half-Clan heritage that stopped cats from siding with me._

_Now I realize that I'm wrong. Hawkfrost had just manipulated them. Hawkfrost now has no one. That's why now, he'll fade away into nothing but mist and that since I am still strong, I can rule my Clan, half-Clan or not. I know that Oakheart and Bluestar are proud of me, and that Mosskit and Stonefur will be watching me from the stars. Nothing changes because you're half-Clan. I just think cats are more stereotypes when it comes to half-Clan cats, afraid their heritage will split them apart. _

_I believe that half-Clan cats always want to prove that they are loyal, and their heritage has nothing to do with divided loyalties. They just have one more extra place for them to shelter. I am always grateful that when I was sick, ThunderClan took Stormpaw (Stormfur), Featherpaw (Feathertail), and me to nurse back to health, because I was part ThunderClan, and so were the apprentices. All cats want to be loyal to where they've lived over their lives. I've lived RiverClan all my life, so I feel absolute no loyalty to ThunderClan. I will be a fair leader, and hopefully one of the strongest. _

_This is a secret I want to let go of about half-Clan cats. I want everyone to respect a cat, half-Clan or rogue. Thank you for listening. Sometimes, cats betray each other and others accuse them because they're half-Clan, but I understand that it is just that they feel it is right. This is my secret that I want to keep. _

_Would you like to stay for the night? It's starting to rain, so you kittypets might not be used to getting your fur dragged in the rain. You can sleep beside the nursery. It's bare there. No one sleeps there. Reedwhisker can guide you. See that black tom over there? Sweet dreams, kittypet. May StarClan walk your dreams, and maybe one of them will share their own stories with you. Many cats have secrets, answers, choices, and stories, but are often hidden deep inside their heart, unknown to the superficial ones who always catch fish only on the shallow water. _

_When you wake up, we can bring you to ShadowClan. I think you'll like to hear Tawnypelt's story. But be careful to not get spotted by Blackstar or Rowanclaw! There might be a truce after the battle you'll not like to hear, but they're still wary. Good luck, kittypet. And thank you for listening to my secret I've kept so long to tell._


	4. Feathertail's Story: No Boundaries

_Kittypet, are you awake? Silence, kittypet. You're still safe and sound in RiverClan. You're still in the mossy nest Reedwhisker brought you to. Yes, I am from StarClan, that's why I have stars in my fur. My name is Feathertail. Have you ever heard those stories? I saved the Tribe of Rushing Water from the lion-cat Sharptooth. I died with it. That's how I ended up walking among the stars, kitten. Have I ever loved someone? My, what a direct question. Of course I have. You can never live a happy life without love. Though my life was short, I've never regretted my last move. Of course, you will be wondering what my real story is, so let's go back to the RiverClan part of StarClan._

_Doesn't it feel comfortable under your feet? Ah, it's muddy and too watery, huh? Well, let me start with the characters in my story. Do you know Crowfeather? So you know Crowfeather, right? Hm, yes, he is, or maybe was Leafpool's mate. Am I jealous? Of course not. Stop it kittypet. I'm here to tell you my own story, not to fool around whether I am jealous of Leafpool or not. Stormfur is my brother in RiverClan, Bramblestar, Squirrelflight, and Tawnypelt went on the quest too. Do you want to learn the real story? Let me begin. Sit down first._

_When I first met Crowfeather, he was only an apprentice that time: Crowpaw. He always has that shell around him, warning anyone to come closer. But I've seen over that wall, and into his true self. He's not like that. That's why I chose to save him and die a warrior's death. I've never regretted it, nor am I jealous that Crowfeather found a new way to make himself happier: Leafpool. _

_I know you have spoken to Leafpool, Squirrelflight, and Mistystar, and perhaps they have told you valuable lessons. Listen well, kittypet, because these stories may not ever be passed on ever again. Ever since the Dark Forest fought the Clans, maybe our stories shouldn't be passed on for another pawful of seasons because the more the stories are told, the stronger the Dark Forest is. _

_So you don't want to know about this? You want to learn about my relationship with Crowfeather? Don't act sheepish, kittypet. I don't mind. Yes, I loved him. At first, he was so unwilling and annoying. I couldn't help feeling a bit irritated with his constant quarrels with Squirrelflight which was Squirrelpaw back then. But then I realized, it was because he was lonely and casted out. _

_Walk up this path, kittypet. Don't you feel the cold winds tugging on your fur? Kittypet, look up. Don't you see the peaceful mountains? Near that waterfall is the Tribe. See that river that swishes through the clefts? The mountains are so beautiful, aren't they? Look carefully. Don't you see the eagles that circle around the mountains? You hardly see them now, right? This is just an illusion. Let's go back. I can see you shivering. Anyways, I will continue my story. _

_Here on the journey, I had Stormfur. Tawnypelt had Brambleclaw. Brambleclaw had Squirrelflight and Tawnypelt. Squirrelflight had Brambleclaw. But he had no one. So I tried to be friends with him and I succeeded. I talked to him a lot, and he didn't seem bothered. Instead, he warmed up to me. And then he started interacting with Bramblestar and Squirrelflight._

_Crowfeather and I were almost inseparable ever since getting to know each other. He even pulled me out of the river when I slipped, and he asked me if I thought I had nine lives. It was such a surprising action from him, and I was grateful. It was up until Stormfur could not stand it anymore, but Crowfeather was in love with me, and I with him. Do you ever understand the feelings of love? There is no boundaries anywhere, though how forbidden it was. I could feel myself so free to be with him, and I loved him._

_Hm? Did you say I will be jealous with Leafpool holding Crowfeather? Of course not. I will hope Crowfeather to come back to me when he comes to see me in StarClan, but I will not tear them apart. I believe if I lived longer, Leafpool and I would become best friends. They already parted by themselves. If only that the Clans wouldn't hold them apart…they loved each other so much, as I believe, you've already heard from Leafpool. I feel disappointed for them, but as Spottedleaf had told Leafpool, they have to follow their hearts, and they need to know their Clan needs their loyalty. Stormfur would've disapproved with Crowfeather and me, but seeing his affection with Squirrelflight before, it's amusing for him to lecture me when we stayed in the Tribe of Rushing Water._

_I am not evil, kittypet. I hope for the best for everyone. If Crowfeather is happy, so am I. I felt proud when I watched Crowfeather and Leafpool make up, agreeing that both of them have no regrets on having their kits. I've watched Lionblaze and Jayfeather when I could, and now Crowfeather's daughter can come and join the ranks of StarClan. If all three of us end up in StarClan together, that will be great. Kittypet, there won't be any hard feelings for anyone. Leafpool now understands the importance of her Clan no matter what position she is in. Crowfeather will now concentrate on being the best WindClan warrior he can be._

_Thank you for understanding my story, kittypet. I didn't know you had enough feelings to notice this. Dear, now you can rest in your nest, so you'll have enough strength to walk up the lake up to ShadowClan territory. Beware about ShadowClan, they're not always friendly. Maybe one of the Tribe cats will visit you. I can get Stormfur to meet you in his dreams. Thanks for listening to my story, kittypet. May StarClan guide you, wherever you may be. _


	5. Tawnypelt's Choice: Why I Left

_Hello, Mistystar. May I please ask what are you doing in ShadowClan territory? Oh, you want to bring this kittypet to learn about my choice. This kittypet has just visited StarClan, hasn't she? Ah, Feathertail? A close friend of mine. Okay, Mistystar. I agree the offer. Come on, kittypet. If you want to learn about me, you'll have to keep up with me in the marsh! You'll need to be careful over the pines, though._

_As you know, my name is Tawnypelt. I'm a ShadowClan warrior. I used to be a ThunderClan apprentice, since my mother was Goldenflower and my father was Tigerstar, who used to be in ThunderClan. I was born in ThunderClan too. I know what you're going to ask. You want to know why I left to ShadowClan. Don't act sheepish, I don't mind. Anyone would be curious about why I chose to be in ShadowClan, when obviously I belonged in the forest of ThunderClan._

_Hey, tread softly here! This is near the ThunderClan territory, by the border. If you step over it, you have ShadowClan scent all over you, Blackstar will get in trouble, and it would be my entire fault. And then Blackstar will say how I'm disloyal, blah, blah, and blah. Run! I see Bramblestar, Ivypool, Bumblestripe, and Foxleap. Alright, go on this path. This leads to the pines, and near the half bridge._

_Anyway, back to the subject, Tigerstar was leader of ShadowClan that time, and everyone hated me because I was Tigerstar's son. You know, I felt really upset and rebelling. Great StarClan, even the elders didn't trust me, because I was Tigerstar's daughter. I knew Bramblestar, when he was Bramblepaw, felt the same as me, but I couldn't help it and fled to Tigerstar's Clan, where I felt I could be safe from rumors and accusations._

_You don't know why Tigerstar was evil? Haven't you known from the visit from Feathertail that Tigerstar tried to kill us all, even though Scourge had killed him in reality in Fourtrees seasons ago! Tigerstar found a way to sneak back out of the Dark Forest and into the Clans, where he spied and looked for the best places to battle, until he started the fight a few sunrises ago. He was evil, plain and simple. No excuses, kittypet._

_I don't regret my choice. I have my strong and brave kits, Flametail, Dawnpelt, and Tigerheart was raised in ShadowClan. Flametail, who walks among the stars now; Dawnpelt, who fights loyally to ShadowClan, and Tigerheart, who would do anything to protect his littermates and friends. I love them all, and I don't regret leaving my brother, because I could always see him again in the Gatherings if I wanted to see him. I have my mate in ShadowClan too, Rowanclaw._

_It's not that I don't care for my brother. Bramblestar is a good part of me. He misses me every bit. And so did I. We strengthened our bond when we saved the Clans moons ago, and now, we know each other as a little more than different Clan cats that we see as friends every full moon. Everyone has their own choice, decision, and life. How could I live when all everyone did to me was blaming me and complain about me? Honestly, I don't know how Bramblestar could live that long through those lies and contempt to become leader one day. Even his mentor, Firestar, didn't trust him at first! Just because of our heritage. Not fair, isn't it?_

_Yes, Rowanclaw loves me for who I am. And I'm proud of him as much as I'm proud of Bramblestar. He's deputy, and he works hard. He looks behind that I had fled from ThunderClan and went to ShadowClan to seek refuge and sees that I am a loyal ShadowClan warrior who would choose ShadowClan before my kin. Don't get me wrong, kittypet. If I see that ThunderClan is right on that issue, I will tell my Clanmates that. I won't choose ShadowClan because I want to prove my worth to ShadowClan._

_Many cats stopped jeering at me, because I know who I am: Tawnypelt, ShadowClan warrior. I won't be a ShadowClan warrior because my father was ShadowClan's former leader, it is because they can see through my heritage, and into my true heart. Did you know most choices, make the path your destiny? I've even been in a prophecy, kittypet. So I'm not evil like my father was._

_I really don't say much about my choice, but all I want to say is that I think ThunderClan will survive better without me in their Clan, because I am obviously better suited in ShadowClan, where the shadows and the night matter wherever you are in the territory. We are wily and proud ShadowClan, and that Bramblestar is the one who deserves ThunderClan. _

_He has worked hard for it. He does anything to prove he is loyal to ThunderClan, and to ThunderClan only. I was proud when he became deputy, and then leader as he led his Clan to face his father and half-brother, Hawkfrost. Well, he is my half-brother too. My half-sister is Mothwing, who is currently RiverClan's medicine cat. I love where I can stay in the sweet scent of the marsh, and that I can watch my son and daughter help ShadowClan, as much as I would. My life is ShadowClan, not ThunderClan. And for that, I am proud, and no regrets._

_Do you want to help me? I should be going back to camp soon, so I should get some prey to have an excuse for leaving camp. Yes, we eat frogs and lizards, but that makes us different from the others, ShadowClan, and ShadowClan only. Thanks for listening, kittypet. I've never seen a kittypet that was that patient. We've had trouble with arrogant kittypets before, but I guess you're not one of them. _

_I've left ThunderClan when my whole kin was in ThunderClan, but my heart will always be in ShadowClan, where shadows lurk and ambushes take place in the cold, harsh, night._

_I want to thank Terklysz putting my story on story alert. I desperately want people to review my story. I want suggestions and things I've done right so I can add it in again. Please, read and review._


	6. Heathertail's Secret: Hate?

_Eh, Tawnypelt? Why are you trespassing WindClan territory with a kittypet? Wouldn't you be doing something bad on the ThunderClan or RiverClan border, since it is obvious my Clan has nothing to do with yours? Honestly, I thought you would be better like this: to sneak and find a warrior to harass. You thought I would be interested to tell my secrets to this kittypet? Why should I? Okay, fine. I'll take her. It is full moon tomorrow, doesn't mean you can trespass today._

_Alright, now since we're alone, I'll tell you. My name is Heathertail. What's my secret? My, you're quick to ask questions already. But since you are a kittypet, and I supposed other cats have shared their secrets with you, I guess it's alright. My secret is about Lionblaze. Do you know who he is? You've spoken to Leafpool about him? Then you know._

_When I was an apprentice, I met Lionblaze at a Gathering. At first, we were just regular friends. At least, I thought it was. But then, Lionblaze was so friendly and easygoing, I fell in love with him. I guess he didn't feel the same. When we became DarkClan warriors, it was the best fun I've ever had. It had such an exhilarating game, and that Lionblaze was Lionclaw, deputy of DarkClan. I was Heatherstar, leader of DarkClan. I loved every bit of it._

_When Lionblaze told me he had to concentrate as a warrior, I thought I just had my heart shatter. I guess it was because of Hollyleaf. Hollyleaf wanted Lionblaze to stop. But it didn't matter. After we met each other again in the tunnels, and we saved the WindClan kits, that was it with us. Forever. Moons passed, and I still tried to put him out of my mind. And the worst thing was I had to keep it a secret. Nobody should know that I had a relationship with a ThunderClan cat, especially now we were a new Clan, and we needed no help from other Clans. _

_I suffered a lot. I'm not saying Lionblaze didn't. I'm sure he did too. But when he visited the WindClan camp…it was so hard to fake a glare and run off with Breezepelt. Though I hated him, I couldn't help to love him. And love was just so simple, yet so twisted and complicated. When it was love, it felt like there were no boundaries. The sky was the limit. Everlasting. Never ending. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how many glares I have given him, deep inside my heart, he stayed in a special place._

_No one could understand me better than him. The games we played by the dark river, the words that we given each other, the swift brush of golden fur whisper beside mine, made me love him, stronger than ever. His burning yellow eyes. Why did it have to be a secret?_

_But at the same time, it was nice. To have my own secret that no one knew. I tried hard to push him away. I really did. I went with Breezepelt. He was great…until he had to go to the Dark Forest. And he tried to kill Lionblaze! He blamed my lack of love because he had a disloyal father. Great StarClan, Crowfeather was my mentor! Breezepelt was beyond crazy! I wonder what happened to him in the Dark Forest. _

_It was so exciting, waiting for a Gathering to come up and for me to come and meet Lionpaw. I would shift my paws, and when we agreed on a day, I would sneak out of camp and into the depths of the night. It felt like an adventure, but at the same time, I knew it was forbidden. When I saw his golden fur, I would relax and play, until we found a secret hideout in the tunnels. _

_Hollyleaf just had to break us up. I hated him. I hated how Lionblaze forced my eyes to look at him when he came to the WindClan camp. But something you've loved before could never be something you hate. I knew it. It happened to me. But sometimes, you love someone so much that when they have happiness, you would be happy for them. I guess it is for me now, too._

_I think now, Lionblaze has let me go. I watched him free his tail from me and fly with his wings, to become a braver and stronger cat. Though I hate him so much, I find his warm eyes gleaming whenever I watch him silently in the Gatherings. He's found Cinderheart. A cat that could make him so happy. I knew I couldn't make him happy. It was against the warrior code! This secret will mean so much to me forever in my whole life._

_I loved the way that Lionblaze and I shared a secret. It was only us. Two of us. No one else could penetrate through. It felt so great to be the only one that knew the secret, and that the secret only belonged to the two of us until Hollyleaf found out. And in return, I would be a better cat. A braver and more confident. I know the Lionpaw would want me to be. _

_Sorry kittypet. I must be boring you, am I? Come, I'll lead you to some gorse where you can rest. I'll slow down for you. Seriously, I knew WindClan cats are fast, but I didn't know they were that fast! Hm, I might send you to ThunderClan to learn for more of their cats. While other Clans are not interested in sharing their stories, ThunderClan was always the one who was welcome to kittypets. Perhaps you can speak to Bramblestar. I don't know. Hey, now the secret can be shared among us, right? Thanks for staying still to listen to my secret, to mine and Lionblaze's. May StarClan guide your paws, kittypet. I've never liked kittypets before, but I guess you're an exception. _

…

_[A/N:] Thank you so much, Stunningfire! Thanks for your review, for putting my story on story alert and on favorites. I'll do what characters you want me to put! They're awesome. I'll try my best!_


	7. Cinderheart's Story: Real Me

_What are you doing here, wandering around the lake? I'm just taking a moonlight walk. My name is Cinderheart. Heathertail sent you? Why? Why a kittypet? You yearn to learn about the stories of the Clans, right? Hm? What's my story? I'll tell you. Just come to the forest of ThunderClan first._

_I've lived in ThunderClan for seasons. I used to be their medicine cat, Cinderpelt. But I was given another life, to reborn as a warrior. What once I thought was my destiny was just a flash of the past. I always thought I was meant to be a medicine cat again, ever since I learned I was Cinderpelt and that I had broken my leg. But it mended, don't worry._

_I don't worry anymore, though I still have fears. Lionblaze had a whole destiny in front of him and he left it for me. But I guess everyone has their own choice of fate. I love him, I really do. However, sometimes, it feels like I've stolen him away from what he was meant to be: to save the Clans. He had the Power of the Three: unbeatable and unthreatened._

_Come over this thorn thicket, kittypet. I can bring you to Bramblestar next. Right now, you have to stay here. I can't stay for long, but since you've come to interview me, I guess I will settle down to tell you my own story. Everyone has their own story, and I have mine as well. But I'm sure you're here not to let me mumble about my sisters and my family. Or about my life as a medicine cat. Perhaps you want to learn more about my own life, my story of love. _

_He's done so much for me, yet I push him away. Now I can choose him. I've never thought I would fall in love like this. But when his sister, Hollyleaf, is my best friend, I guess that's possible. I believe mine and his destiny have no time for mates, but if StarClan wanted to give me another chance of life as a warrior, they would want me to be happy as well, right? _

_You kittypets might not know. Your life is just as simple as breathing air. Beg and plea, and then you can get what you want. But if you want to be a warrior, it's not as easy as it seems to be. It feels so awkward, feeling like a mentor of Jayfeather, right? Actually I'm not, but technically, I'm older than him, and his mentor's mentor._

_Lionblaze is a cat I would treasure. We have quarrels, but he has done so much for me. Like on the border, he let Ratscar shred him, just to see if he could be a normal warrior for me for once. I try to avoid him, but I can finally free Cinderpelt. When Lionblaze had confronted me and told me I had to choose, I did choose. I chose him. And Cinderpelt heard as her spirit could fly to StarClan, away from me. She had thanked me, so one thing in my life, I've done something right._

_Look at the stream. Don't you see yourself? I think that whenever you look at it, you look the same, but you feel so different. Every heartbeat, you're changing. But isn't that the best thing that happens to life? To a story? When you can change? Look at that lily. Whenever you look at it, you see it differently, than many others. It is so different, yet so similar. I think this is the real me. The me that I can tell. And the me that only Lionblaze could see. Though my path is unknown, there is always hope and faith. And I think that was what let me to Lionblaze: my heart._

_I love everything about him: his burning amber eyes; his gleaming golden fur, his twitching tail, his seriousness, was everything that made him different. Lionblaze changed my destiny. The destiny that StarClan really wanted me to follow. I could be the real Cinderheart: the one that belonged with the trees, and the stone hollow. Not the one that lived by Sunningrocks and had the scent of herbs plastered among my fur and paws._

_I can't say how much I thank you for listening. I wanted everyone to hear, but maybe everyone's story is meant for someone who knew, who knew without the borders of the four Clans, that everyone had a story that they hid in their heart._

…

**Sorry, everyone! I couldn't find anything good to write about Cinderheart, so I ran out of the ideas, and wrote these prophetic stuff…I know it sucks…sorry! I'll rewrite it…just tell me!**

**Please give me some time to think. I might finish the one about Bramblestar and finish this. This was roughly made out of Spottedleaf's Honest Answer. I want to start a new story: First Promises.**


	8. Bramblestar's Answer: Misunderstood

_I thought I knew you well. But maybe I didn't know you as much as I thought I did. Now we're just like we started…acquaintances. I thought I knew the whole side of you, the side that I loved. Every since she made up that lie…I just felt…was this the real Squirrelflight? I loved you, I really did! It felt like…were you just playing with me? Would you actually do that in front of me…to lie and walk away?_

_I'm so sorry…I was just so upset. I know. I forgave her. But, it felt like a claw had pricked through my throat, and I died…9 lives. The pain was so tangible. I thought I knew her. I knew her whole life, and I was thinking about how proud I was for my kits…until I realized…they weren't my kits. And then the whole sense of betrayal and reluctance just washed over me. The feeling that she could actually look at me and then walk away without a word._

_What are you doing here? This is my territory, ThunderClan's territory. Oh really? You've spoken to Leafpool and Squirrelflight? Mouse-brain, why would I believe you? Fine, come here. You've come to listen to my answer; you might as well keep up with me. _

_Continuing on, you've heard the story of Squirrelflight and me, right? We've quarreled before, and then we would feel better again. But now, I feel so broken, to be lied to and betrayed. Yet, here she is, being my deputy. I felt so…yes, rogue! Misunderstood. Now it felt like…we didn't really know each other…though we were once mates._

_I honestly thought I knew you better. I thought you were different. I thought you were someone true to your word. But all of that was just a lie, right? To believe in you. If felt like I hardly knew you anymore, the cat you seemed to be. I felt like you were drifting away and then in a flash, it felt like it was the beginning again, like we were acquaint__ances, once again._

_All at once, everything happened so fast. The ignorance, the cold shoulders, the belittled gazes, felt so icy in the confusion. How cats could change so quickly, like in a blink of an eye? It was so superficial, the fake smiles I mocked, the hollow talks, and yet, it was never realized, and how I wished I could tell you how naive you were or how immature._

_But what was I supposed to say? No matter how many times we got ignored and let it go, no matter how many second chances were given, we hardly spoke. It was because of me, and I know it. But it was as if we were strangers, and our lives were unknown to one another. Every day we were the last ones talked to down your list. Maybe one day we would have a mere illusion of not being ignored, or wish it would happen. It felt like we were slowly parting away, and there was no use to try anymore._

_Every effort we tried was wasted. It made me feel disappointed and upset. I wasn't mad, but then again, we __hardly knew each other, except for a brief notice of our names, as if we were just mild Clanmates. I felt frustrated, that was all. It was like we were six as a prophecy, not five. It felt as if we weren't friends anymore. Never was, never would be. It was so difficult, with all the harsh and cold words exchanged in almost every meeting._

_It was every time we talk usually it was almost a first meeting conversation. We knew too much. We expected too much. It was almost as if we didn't know anything. The bittersweet memories were savored, the hurt feelings, if only it was just a dream- no, a dreadful nightmare. You woke up and left us, and that was all. If only it was a dream, we wouldn't and we didn't have to feel misunderstood and betrayed._


End file.
